Qu'est-ce Que C'est

I have one of those last names that's hard to spell. One of those long Polish last names full of consonants and very few vowels. So it's never a surprise to see my name misspelled. Over the years I've seen more than a few interesting variations, but a mundane version that simply drops the z seems to be most popular. At least, it is online.

A Google search of my name spelled properly will gather roughly the same amount of information as a search of my name spelled without the z. No other misspelling has proved so fruitful on the internet. For example, if I wanted to find reviews of any show I did in San Diego, I'd type my name correctly. If I wanted to find my Nashville reviews, I'd type it incorrectly, leaving out the z. For all I know, there's a slew of information about me I'll never find for an o where a c should be, an e instead of an a, or any combination of substitutions and omissions -- with 10 letters, my last name gives folks plenty to work with -- but if only the z is dropped, I can usually find what I'm looking for.

So this morning, when it occurred to me to look up last weekend's Instant Theatre, I tried both the proper spelling and the popular misspelling to find results. I got a hit. From the misspelling. The link: my own blog.

Whoa, Nelly! Hold your horses! That's just wrong!

First of all, I use my full name very rarely and judiciously in these posts. It is the internet, after all; if there's a psycho killer reading my blog, I want to make him work a little bit to find me. Second, I did not use my name at all -- in full or in part -- in the post pointed to by the Google link. Third (and most important), I know how to spell my name. Sure, it's possible I made a typographical error, but I checked: any time my name was used it was spelled correctly. And it isn't listed in my Blogger profile at all. Curious. If the blog isn't getting Google hits from the correct spelling, how is it getting hits from the misspelling?

And why, of all posts, did it link to The Quick and the Light on their Feet? Read that one out of context and you get all sorts of wrong ideas.... the pride parade, the theatre project, the sketchy doctor's exam. I feel a Seinfeld-esque "not that there's anything wrong with that" coming on. No, no. Context was important for that one.

Of course, I don't need to worry about it. It's not like anyone else is going to find me that way. After all, even if someone randomly decides to Google me, the odds are good that they can't spell my name. With or without the z.