Dr. AWOL

I can't resist. This is too good.

After a long silence, Dr. AWOL resurfaced on Friday with news that I would need a CT Scan -- a urogram -- to determine the cause of my hematuria. In layman's terms: they want to X-ray my guts 'cause there's blood in my pee. Fine. The thing is... I've had more tests than I care to recount, and doctors don't generally call with results unless they are serious. In fact, I've only been called once before. That time, the call for further testing was scary, and so were the results. This call was eerily similar and scared me a bit, too. I listened carefully as the doctor explained what the first tests had revealed and why he wanted further tests. He told me which outpatient facility to visit and that I'd need an X-ray referral from him to make the appointment.

And told me to pick up the referral at his office on Monday.

I didn't. I didn't leave the house at all Monday. It could wait a day, I figured. I'd pick it up Tuesday.

But when I checked the mail Monday afternoon, the referral was waiting for me there.

?!?

The doctor must have been holding the phone in his left hand while stuffing the thing into an envelope with his right.

Thank God he's not a surgeon. I'd hate to think where he'd leave his keys.