Left at Albuquerque

A week or so ago, I signed up for a class at the University of San Diego. This is not, mind you, a class which requires me to enroll in the University. No, no, I finished my degree some time ago, thank you. Rather, this is an extended-services type of class. A class which makes use of the school’s facilities for a night or two but isn’t necessarily associated with its curriculum. A class which requires one who has never enrolled at the school to become instantly familiar with its landscape. A class which demands that the intrigued San Diego neophyte conduct a little internet research. And so said neophyte did. And in doing so, said was reminded of a growing pet peeve: website “maps and directions.”

Over the course of the last several months, while visiting a city that is still relatively new to me, I have had more than one occasion to search for certain locations online. Darned convenient thing, this internet, if used correctly. Unfortunately, too many web designers fail to see beyond their own limited view. This is particularly evident when one begins looking for maps and directions online. While local web designers may be intimately familiar with the area they are discussing, it’s fairly safe to say that the poor guy searching for directions is not. And there the trouble begins.

See, here’s how it goes. You’ve got a craving for sauerkraut, so you start searching online for directions to Pierogi Hut. Google throws you a dumpling: you’ve got a hit. Drooling, you click to the local website, anticipating doughy goodness. You follow the link to “maps and directions,” keys in hand. Your breath catches as the screen flickers. A map appears. For all its usefulness and definition, it may as well be a map of Botswana, but no matter. Text has appeared. Directions. Salvation. Lunch. Thank the blessed lord of the intern… hey! What the - ?!? Your hope fades. No pierogies today. You read the instructions: “From the North” take this route… and “From the South” take that one. Useless.

Dear Mr. Genius Web Designer, I must ask you: IF I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE HECK YOU ARE, HOW DO I KNOW WHETHER I’M COMING FROM THE NORTH, SOUTH, EAST, OR WEST OF YOU??? HOW ABOUT A FRICKIN’ ADDRESS, EH? I HEAR MAPQUEST IS NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.

But I’m not bitter.

Now, in all fairness, I must add a disclaimer. Although the USD website did prompt this rant, the USD webfolk were, at least, kind enough to include the university address on the site. Somewhere below the instruction to take Interstate 5 in whichever direction most pleases your best guess fancy. With that information, proper directions can be found and the class will not be missed.

However, until web designers unite in a frenzy of address publishing, many a pierogi will remain uneaten. And that’s just sad.