Flat Stanley

Lately, I have been working on one of my niece’s school projects. In February, her elementary school class read a book about a boy who was smashed flat by a bulletin board, became a half-inch thick, and discovered that being flat was fun. (I bet he’d think differently if he weren’t pre-pubescent, but I digress). Stanley determined that in his flat state he could slide under doors, hang in picture frames, fly like a kite, and even travel through the mail. Whether Stanley actually did any of those things in the book, I do not know; but I am certain that after my niece constructed her own Flat Stanley, the wafer thin boy did indeed travel through the mail. He arrived, via envelope, at my door in late March, ready for a tour of San Diego.

The purpose of Stanley’s cross-country visit, it seems, is a lesson in geography. Every child in my niece’s class is waiting for the safe return of a flat friend who is expected to bring with him pictures, souvenirs, and tales of his visit away from home. Being somewhat competitive and aware that other Stanleys might be visiting more exotic locales, I felt I had to give my visiting Stanley the grand tour.

First, Stanley visited the closing night performance of … that show I was doing. Rather than watch from the audience, however, Stanley took advantage of his backstage pass and mingled with the actors behind the scenes. He spent the bulk of his time in the men’s dressing room, averting his eyes from the girls changing clothes next door.

For the next few days, Stanley would not venture out. The weather gods had decided that this season would not be one of San Diego’s driest after all, and while the days outside were wet, my hydrophobic paper pal preferred to spend them safely inside. Until the rain abated, Stanley was quite content to bake a small batch of chocolate chip cookies and hang around on the fridge.

After the rains passed, Stanley visited America's largest urban cultural park (Balboa Park), the World Famous San Diego Zoo, the world’s oldest seafaring ship (The Star of India, built in 1863), America’s longest-serving aircraft carrier (The USS Midway, commissioned in 1945), and San Diego’s largest outdoor market (Kobey’s Swap Meet, drawing 30,000 shoppers weekly). He spent a lot of time downtown and near the harbor, so he eventually became more comfortable around water. So comfortable, in fact, that before he packed his things for the journey home, he’d posed with several of the local fountains and bought his own surfboard. Like a true San Diegan, he was ready to catch a few rays and waves.

It was requested that Stanley return home with a change of clothes suitable to the climate he’d visited, so even though he arrived dressed appropriately, tonight Stanley and I will be going about the business of putting together some Californian duds for his trip home. Bright and early tomorrow morning, he’ll be back in the envelope, traveling back to Tennessee, exactly on schedule. There, he’ll join the other Stanleys in teaching a class of elementary school students geography by marking their individual journeys on a map.

I’ve grown fond of the kid. I hate to see him go. Once he’s out the door, I know he’ll never write. He won’t call. He’ll never tell me where his friends went or what they did; I’ll never know how his vacation compared to the others. He’ll have left me behind for good.

*Sob* They grow up so fast.