To Whom It May Concern

To Anne-Geri and Beth: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for visiting last night after the show. I've been at wits end with boredom and it was so good to see you! We must do that more often.

To Brian: Do you know yet whether your current contract will extend the extra week, bringing you home right at Christmas? Perhaps we can arrange for some sort of hologram to take your place for those final performances, so that you can get your insurance week and still get your butt here to see me before you ride off into the Bluegrass State for the holiday.

To Larry: For the thousandth time, no! Look, I love the Predators just as much as you do -- well, maybe not QUITE as much, because you're one sedative away from a 12-step program -- but I am not going to the game with you on Thanksgiving. I will be having my a$$ kicked in Trivial Pursuit at my mother's house, suffering my brother's tremendous store of knowledge and merciless will to use it.

To Mother: I expect to be suffering my brother's merciless will to trounce me at all things Trivial at your house this year. If the turkey is going to be at his house, somebody should send me a memo.

To Chris and Kenny: Hey, guys! How's it going? Just didn't want to leave you out.

To Anyone Else Who Cares: Nice to see you. Thanks for stopping by.

To Anyone Else Who Doesn't: Don't you have some work to do?