Thanksgiving Adventure

“Give me your keys and nothing will happen.”

I had come from rehearsal. It was a little after nine, I had filled the tank, and these were not words I expected to hear at the well-lighted gas station.

“Excuse me?”

“Give me your keys and nothing will happen.”

Now he’d said it twice and there was no doubt: he was trying to steal my car. From me. At a gas station close to home. Surreal.

Stalling, I pretended I had not quite heard him and had not understood. I asked him to repeat the phrase a third time, which he did, while I looked him over and considered my options. He had his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and had not removed them, even as I stood playing dumb; I could not know, but I guessed that he did not have a gun. I looked at him and said sincerely “I am sorry, sir, but I don’t understand you.” Then I turned away from him and walked steadily to the convenience mart, mouthing “help” to the clerk in the store ahead of me and fearing sudden moves from the robber-to-be behind.

Entering the store, I repeated the phrase. The rest happened quickly. The night manager, who I knew to be a bit of a jokester in lighter situations, sprang into action. As soon as I cleared the entrance, the doors were locked behind me. As he called the police, I clicked my key fob to lock the car doors. None of us had seen where the robber had gone, but customers who continued to visit the pumps, unaware of the lockdown, came and went peacefully. When a rather impatient woman claimed, with a two-snaps-up-in-a-circle attitude, that she had seen him walk away, the doors were unlocked so that she could exit. As she did, it occurred to me that I might have locked my car too late: the sweat-shirted man might have climbed into it when I walked away. I decided not to test the theory and waited inside until the police arrived.

The wait was awkward and the store had resumed normal operation by the time the robber reappeared. Although I knew that the night manager had seen the guy – he’d given the police an accurate description -- I could not help blurting “that’s him!” upon his sudden appearance. The doors were quickly re-locked as he continued toward them. If he had been waiting in the shadows for me to come out, he had made the wrong decision. The police were right behind, and soon had him in custody.

When I stepped outside, I was surprised to find no less than eight police vehicles in the parking lot, lights flashing. Because nothing had actually been stolen and no one hurt, I thought it a bit excessive. I was soon informed, however, that they had been looking for this man for some time and he was wanted on several felony counts.

My mind turned morbidly to a recent shooting in the area. A shooting that had, in fact, taken place in an apartment complex directly behind that gas station. Whatever his crimes, my car, with its full tank of gas, would have made a nice getaway for him had I given it to him.

While the officer took my statement, I was surprised when she called my actions “smart.” I had expected a reprimand. I had expected her to tell me that one should always give a robber exactly what he asks for, and I told her so. She answered “criminals don’t expect you to say ‘no’.” If there was more to the thought, it was left unsaid.

I was asked to prosecute and I agreed. This morning I received a phone call: my subpoena. On Monday I will meet the D.A. and testify.

Between now and then, I can think of plenty of things to be thankful for.

Have a safe and happy holiday.