A Diet That Isn't One

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I am on a lifelong quest for the perfect chili dog. Which is why, when I found coupons for a little joint called Wienershnitzel in my mailbox suggesting that I join the Chili Dog Diet, I immediately consulted Google and MapQuest to find the nearest place to redeem them. Conveniently, there was a location in Chula Vista, very near the theatre.

It was a little street shop with a walk-up rather than drive-through window. I have personal mandate to avoid places that make me get out of my car to order fast food, but I was willing to overlook that rule in service to the quest. I bellied up to the window and ordered; then, back in the car, I commenced with the taste test.

I wasn't staggered by hot-doggy goodness, but I was rather amused by its marketing. The spokes-schnitzel that on one hand seemed to be cowering behind the logo of "America's Most Wanted Hot Dog" was on the other hand arrogantly exposed while promoting his "diet." Wiener-schitzo.

The diet ol' W.S. was hawking made me laugh, too. With No Guilt, No Cravings, and No Costly Foods to Buy, the pork-packed Delicious One (sm) proudly proclaimed his plan to be "A Diet You Just Can't Lose On." That sly dog.

Don't worry about Wienie. He'll make enough money from this clever ad campaign to hide from whatever dog-nappers are chasing him. Meanwhile, my quest for the perfect chili dog continues.