What I Really Want to Do Is...

There's a joke in the theatre community that what most actors really want to do is direct. I never understood that. Why?

The actor's job is easy; the director's job is hard. To be effective, he has do a lot of homework. He has to interpret the script, know it backwards and forwards, know what he wants, convey that vision to the cast, give the cast every opportunity to work, and make it all happen on schedule. Why on Earth would an actor, accustomed to the glory of performing in front of an audience, take on so difficult and thankless a task behind the scenes?

Lately, I've begun to understand. Because lately I've begun to think about directing.

In analyzing my own new-found desire to direct, I've come to an interesting analogy: Actor is to Director as Grown Child is to Parent. While there isn't necessarily any animosity, the Actor becomes determined that when it is his turn, he will do it differently. While he is raising (directing) his Child (Cast), he vows not to make any of the mistakes that his Parent (Director) made while raising (directing) him. He'll give them structure ... and freedom. He'll provide the tools, training, and tolerance that he was not given. He'll do it right.

And thus, he's begun thinking of himself as a director. Doomed, like any new parent, to create a whole new crop of mistakes in his effort to avoid the ones he's witnessed. Mistakes which others will resent. Until they begin thinking...

When I do it, I'll do it right.