It's Time to Put On Makeup, It's Time to Dress Up Right

The quest to have me costumed and coifed continues.

First, there is the issue of my death dress. In the script, after Ruth is accidentally killed by the ghostly Elvira (who was aiming instead for husband Charles), she returns from the grave during the séance that is supposed to return Elvira to hers. Fun little plot point, that, but a costuming nightmare as Ruth spirit is expected to return in a death-grey replica of whatever colorful outfit she was wearing when she last exited, alive. To circumvent this problem, the director and costumer agreed that there would, instead, be a standard “heaven-issue” garment built for both Elvira and Ruth. This would seem to be a clever idea if executed properly… but… well… let’s just say that this production has had innumerable difficulties with proper execution. As it stands at the moment, there is no similarity whatever between Ruth’s and Elvira’s garb. The reason for this is two-fold.

To begin with, our Elvira is a cute, perky, pert, slim little thing. I hate her. ;) Because she can be easily costumed to look gorgeous, a ready-made dress – much like one a girl might wear to her prom – was found on the rack and issued to her. As I am NOT a cute, perky, pert, slim little thing, no off-the-rack match had been stored in my size; and as the Elvira dress had not been built in-house, as had been promised, no matching fabric or pattern was available there. From the moment her slinky dress was chosen, mine was destined to be completely different. So much for “heaven-issue” finery! On the other hand, my dress would be tailor-made to fit me perfectly.

Enter problem number two.

During the preliminary stages of costuming, Madame Costumer was extremely thorough with her tape measure – no lump or love handle was left unturned – but afterwards those measurements were handed over to another dressmaker who, it seems, has a pile of work on her plate and, perhaps, poor eyesight. When my large, grey muumuu of a dress arrived this week for trying-on, it was not only a poor, dull, lackluster version of Elvira’s stellar outfit, it was also roughly five sizes too big! As I stood engulfed by a sea of grey material that pooled around my feet (a definite first!), it was assumed that the dressmaker had confused dresses. She had, among her orders, specs to make a dress for a man who would be playing in a cross-dressing scene -- and my dress, it seemed, had been built to his measurements. Ah well. At least it’s easier to correct a dress that’s been built too large than it is one that’s built too small!

The amusing part of this story, however, comes back to the man to whose specs the dress might have been made. Assuming that this story is accurate, it is the third time our theatrical paths have crossed in small-world fashion. Loyal readers may remember that I mentioned him a year ago in July when, after meeting briefly on a 24-hour San Diego theatre project, we quickly discovered that we had a mutual friend in Nashville. You might also remember my crossing paths with him again briefly this January in Nashville, where he was directing the show my then roommate was readying to take to sea. This time, it seems, August has attempted to fit me into Matt Thompson’s dress.

After our costumer discovered the error and pinned me left, right, and center, the dress was returned to its maker, who I’ll be meeting tomorrow for a proper fitting.

Meanwhile… last night, the director decided that he wasn’t really sold on the wig that had been purchased for me. (Never mind that he’d been there when it was chosen). Shh... don’t tell the costumer!

As we see our first audience a week from tonight in the first of two previews, we are all going in tonight hoping to see a few additional props and a great deal of improvement on the set. From there, it will be up to us to -- as Spencer Tracy might advise -- know our lines and not bump into the furniture.

Of course, that might be harder once we have it. ;)