Nine Out of Ten Quail Disagree

Last Saturday, our Vice President peppered his companion with birdshot while quail hunting on a Texas ranch, putting him in an exclusive league of attorney-popping Veeps which, until now, included only Aaron Burr.  While the 78-year-old target – er, victim – recovers, his fellow hunters and the owner of the Texas ranch where the accident occurred assure us that such is the nature of quail hunting: the occasional peppering “goes with the turf.”  In fact, while they’re swapping “Yup, I been peppered myself” stories over a few cold beers, injured lawyer Harry Whittington is suffering “silent” heart attacks due to the littering of little pellets in and around the organ.  But, you know… such is the nature of the safest sport in the country.  You heard me.  Hunting is, we are reminded, the safest sport in the country.  (No one polled the quail).  So safe, in fact, that accidents like this one are common enough that no charges are filed in relation to them.  Save the one that might come from failing to add the $7 upland game stamp to your hunting license.  You might get a citation in the mail for that.  Otherwise, you’re covered.  Pepper your companion away!  

In fact, as safe as this sport is, it’s rather a lucky coincidence that on the odd day that Whittington was shot, foolishly getting between game birds and a firearm, he was in the company of the one man who travels with his own entourage of medical personnel.  I mean, if you’re not going to announce your presence on the hunting field to the very people you traveled there with, you couldn’t ask for better luck than that.