He Knows When You Are Sleeping

From "Two and a Half Men" this week:

Alan's new Martha-Stewart-esque and wee bit psychotic girlfriend jumps out of bed on Christmas Eve, realizing that she's forgotten to put cookies out for Santa Claus.

Alan: "You're not serious?"
Girlfriend: "Of course. If you don't give Santa cookies, he puts coal in your stocking and doesn't leave you any presents."
Alan: "So... you believe in the vengeful, Old Testament Santa Claus."

Beautiful.