Ein Minuten, Bitte

Excuse me for interrupting... the season premiere post is on its way... but I felt the need to share yesterday's smart-alecky German translations, as they were largely ignored by their recipient.

Following words like "landeshauptstadt" and "mittagstraße" and "jahrtusendturm" which I could reasonably break down, were shorter words like zurück, und uhren & schmuck.

Zurück, I suggested, was in Switzerland. Or, depending on pronunciation, it might be a military prison in the middle of San Francisco Bay. Uhren & schmuck, I said, were ill-liked Jewish fellas with a comedy magic routine soon to be featured in an HBO special. I was promptly issued corrections without so much as an e-chuckle. Who has time for giggles when the whole of Germany waits to be explored?

Zurück, I was informed, means simply "back;" und uhren & schmuck together mean "jewelry store" -- specifically a watch shop and a jeweler. ("Uhren", by the way, literally translates to "clocks" so this is a context thing)

Fine. Great. Good to know. But could I get a teeny-weeny snicker out of "Zu Rück" as Alcatraz? Please. Anyone?

Either my humor is obscure and sad, or I need to wake some folks up with a pick-axe handle. (That's for you, Jake) Zurück... I kill me.

Landeshauptstadt: state capitol; Mittagstraße: midday street; Jahrtausendturm: millennium tower; Pick-axe handle: a writing challenge issued by my brother.