Oscar Night

Each year I host an Oscar party. A select group of close friends gathers at my house for an evening of snacking, chatting, betting, and catching-up. For some of us, getting together during the year is difficult, so the Academy decides for us the one night a year that we are duty-bound to meet. This year, we are not meeting. Because I'm not there.

In truth, I'm the only one who really cares about the awards. Because (sorry, guys) I'm the only one who consistently wins the pot. The others come to humor me and enjoy what has become a tradition.

So, while I'm sitting alone in a San Diego apartment tonight, checking off ballots my castmates graciously filled at my request, I will be thinking of Chris and Kenny -- my rocks -- and wishing I was home for one night.

In their honor, a few outside bets:

• Chris will watch the awards but will not make his famous chicken wings for the event.
• Kenny will watch only if bidden by another friend, answering their invite with "oh, is that on tonight???" Popcorn will be involved.
• I will win the pool among my cast, but won't be satisfied. My nearest opponent won't be in the room cheering on their vote. Where's the competition in that?

Meanwhile, this is the closest to the red carpet I've ever been. Happy Oscar to all, and to all a Good Night!