I sold my car last night. For one hour.
For one hour, everyone was happy. I had found a buyer, the buyer had found a deal, and the car had found a good home. Then I got the call. It wasn’t meant to be.
When my darling Dodge left her long-time parking spot last evening, she was an aging sports car with high-mileage and a tendency to ignore third gear. Reliable under 40 mph, she was to be a saviour for a nice guy facing a long run of extraordinarily bad luck. Instead, she left him stranded, waiting for a tow truck and a ride home.
When the Dodge returned to her long-time parking spot three hours and a hefty towing fee later, she was in the death throes. She had stalled on a slight hill and lost the will to restart. What fate awaits her now, I do not know, but I fear that now she may only be sold for scrap. And it breaks my heart. But not as much as the failure to help a good man who needed a lucky break does.
I’d still like to help. So, if anyone knows of a reliable car for sale under $1,000 in the Middle Tennessee area, let me know. And if you know anyone in the market for parts to a ‘95 Avenger – or the whole dead kaboodle – you can send them my way too.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
She Lives
I've been home from San Diego now for seven weeks and I've spent five of those weeks working 80 to 90 hours. That schedule is, for me, coming to an end. Though for the next five weeks I will be running the nighttime performances and a few matinees of a show that's just opened, I will not be in daytime rehearsals for the show which will replace it next month. Instead, I will be across town rehearsing a show in which I've been cast.
That show is an original script based -- not loosely -- on the Grimm fairy tale Sleeping Beauty. As there is a paycheck and professional credit in a respected venue involved, I will refrain from additional comment, except to say that I will be playing the young beauty's mother.
Though I've been cast as a mother before, my fictional children have always been infants or actors older enough than myself to border on ridiculous. That this time I am of an age which could have truly borne the sixteen-year-old spindle-finding princess gives me pause.
Or, had different author invented a truly novel evil curse, paws.
Now THAT would be an original script! Instead of sleeping peacefully for 100 years, all inhabitants of the castle would be turned into bears who maul each other to death until a century later only three remain, eating porridge, when Little Red Robin Hood comes to steal the royal golden plates for the poor and... nah, it'd never sell.
She says while quietly copywriting the idea and never minding the inevitable Into the Woods comparisons.
But I digress.
In the last few weeks, I have accomplished very little personal business while attending to the business of the theatre, but when breaks did come, they wore robes of synchronicity and serendipity.
For example, in a schedule heavy with double-duty days, it was lucky that auditions for Sleeping Beauty fell early on a day I'd work only night and callbacks on a night when I'd work only day. I was meant to be there.
And when one of my few full days off left me eyeing a new Dodge (a story deserving an article of its own), it was a fortunate accident to discover still on the lot a Chrysler that hadn't been picked to play kickball in 2004. I shaved $8,000 from the sticker price and received more car than I'd budgeted for, brand spanking new.
Less sympathetic events in recent weeks have included bills for previous medical tests and appointments for future diagnosis, early morning barking alarms, late night mewing greetings, a pesky West Viriginian parking spot thief, and a surprise Californian suspension of my driver's license for failure to file Form FR1 with the DMV in the wake of April's accident -- as every out-of-state driver knows instintively to do, I'm sure.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse, yadda yadda. But really. Was there somewhere I could have picked up a Visitor's Guide to California Penal Codes? The trooper made no mention. One day I'll share a little federal interstate commerce rant I'm stewing on....
Until then... back to work.
That show is an original script based -- not loosely -- on the Grimm fairy tale Sleeping Beauty. As there is a paycheck and professional credit in a respected venue involved, I will refrain from additional comment, except to say that I will be playing the young beauty's mother.
Though I've been cast as a mother before, my fictional children have always been infants or actors older enough than myself to border on ridiculous. That this time I am of an age which could have truly borne the sixteen-year-old spindle-finding princess gives me pause.
Or, had different author invented a truly novel evil curse, paws.
Now THAT would be an original script! Instead of sleeping peacefully for 100 years, all inhabitants of the castle would be turned into bears who maul each other to death until a century later only three remain, eating porridge, when Little Red Robin Hood comes to steal the royal golden plates for the poor and... nah, it'd never sell.
She says while quietly copywriting the idea and never minding the inevitable Into the Woods comparisons.
But I digress.
In the last few weeks, I have accomplished very little personal business while attending to the business of the theatre, but when breaks did come, they wore robes of synchronicity and serendipity.
For example, in a schedule heavy with double-duty days, it was lucky that auditions for Sleeping Beauty fell early on a day I'd work only night and callbacks on a night when I'd work only day. I was meant to be there.
And when one of my few full days off left me eyeing a new Dodge (a story deserving an article of its own), it was a fortunate accident to discover still on the lot a Chrysler that hadn't been picked to play kickball in 2004. I shaved $8,000 from the sticker price and received more car than I'd budgeted for, brand spanking new.
Less sympathetic events in recent weeks have included bills for previous medical tests and appointments for future diagnosis, early morning barking alarms, late night mewing greetings, a pesky West Viriginian parking spot thief, and a surprise Californian suspension of my driver's license for failure to file Form FR1 with the DMV in the wake of April's accident -- as every out-of-state driver knows instintively to do, I'm sure.
Ignorance of the law is no excuse, yadda yadda. But really. Was there somewhere I could have picked up a Visitor's Guide to California Penal Codes? The trooper made no mention. One day I'll share a little federal interstate commerce rant I'm stewing on....
Until then... back to work.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Animal Warfare
More than once one these pages I have mentioned my cat. Well, THE cat. It’s not MY cat. The cat belongs to my roommate, who is now working on international waters. Without his cat. Which he left here. For me to keep. Temporarily. God love.
When I returned home from San Diego, I spent days cleaning up after mistress Delilah’s messy tantrums. Then I went back to work, leaving Delilah home alone for too many hours of too many days, allowing her to restart the protest. She is, all in all, a beastly creature. But in the few hours of the past two days I’ve spent at home, I’ve discovered that Delilah is not the only beastly creature I’m housing.
As I reached for something breakfast-like on Sunday, I discovered a small colony of ants on a reconnaissance mission in my cupboard. I promptly emptied the cupboard, gave the shelves an Ortho spritz, and went about my business. However, I should have remembered that ants come not single spies, but in battalions.
I was unaware when the attacked colony sent its tiny Paul Revere on a midday ride, but within minutes their militia staged an uprising. Full armies staged the Ant-merican Revolution. Better armed, I overtook them easily, but not without casualties. My entire dry goods flank was lost. Admiral Cheerios, Captain White Rice, and Lieutenant Cheese Nip fell in battle. They were good men all and will be missed.
Later in the day, as I reached for something jeans-like in the storage room, I found evidence of another mission. This time, the assignment had been handed to a more highly-trained battery of mice. Given the relative size of the basement holdings, the decision to send in a beefier army was a good one. Evidently, the mouse patrol left no Christmas sweater or faux fall leaf unturned, scouring every inch of the place and leaving tiny landmines in their wake. Whether the team has retreated to report to headquarters or has staked out a clever foxhole, I am uncertain.
In this new battle, my forces are questionable. Snappy traps have become verboten and using sticky paper to capture starving POWs is not a tactic to my liking. However, if to win the war I must play General, I have decided to draft Delilah into military service. Against this enemy, she may prove valuable.
If not, I’ll give her a dishonorable discharge.
When I returned home from San Diego, I spent days cleaning up after mistress Delilah’s messy tantrums. Then I went back to work, leaving Delilah home alone for too many hours of too many days, allowing her to restart the protest. She is, all in all, a beastly creature. But in the few hours of the past two days I’ve spent at home, I’ve discovered that Delilah is not the only beastly creature I’m housing.
As I reached for something breakfast-like on Sunday, I discovered a small colony of ants on a reconnaissance mission in my cupboard. I promptly emptied the cupboard, gave the shelves an Ortho spritz, and went about my business. However, I should have remembered that ants come not single spies, but in battalions.
I was unaware when the attacked colony sent its tiny Paul Revere on a midday ride, but within minutes their militia staged an uprising. Full armies staged the Ant-merican Revolution. Better armed, I overtook them easily, but not without casualties. My entire dry goods flank was lost. Admiral Cheerios, Captain White Rice, and Lieutenant Cheese Nip fell in battle. They were good men all and will be missed.
Later in the day, as I reached for something jeans-like in the storage room, I found evidence of another mission. This time, the assignment had been handed to a more highly-trained battery of mice. Given the relative size of the basement holdings, the decision to send in a beefier army was a good one. Evidently, the mouse patrol left no Christmas sweater or faux fall leaf unturned, scouring every inch of the place and leaving tiny landmines in their wake. Whether the team has retreated to report to headquarters or has staked out a clever foxhole, I am uncertain.
In this new battle, my forces are questionable. Snappy traps have become verboten and using sticky paper to capture starving POWs is not a tactic to my liking. However, if to win the war I must play General, I have decided to draft Delilah into military service. Against this enemy, she may prove valuable.
If not, I’ll give her a dishonorable discharge.